This is not the Whuffle, though it was equally delicious and about the size of his head.
This is the burrito I ate on a lunch date with one of my old college buddies while Paulo had a playdate with his Oma. I did not have to maneuver around his wee head to eat this burrito and he did not end up with beans on his head. It was altogether TOO EASY. Seriously – going out without baby? TOO EASY. I can just get in the car! And then just get out! And don’t have to be fussy about parking in the shade! And I can just sit down at lunch and eat my food without bouncing and fighting off the arms of the land squid trying to grab my hair and/or beverage! AMAZING.
When I got back, my mama asked me if I had missed him on this my first time out and about without him. (Seriously! Wow.) And I’d wondered whether I would. I wondered if I would miss him horribly. I also wondered if I would get out of the house and have this epiphany where “ZOMG FREE AT LAST!” Neither happened. I was not at all desperate to have any “me” time – though I did very much enjoy it. I also did not get wistful or start txting for baby updates. It was really just the right amount of time for an outing – I was so happy to get back and hear about his adventures on his walk and snorgle him and I didn’t even mind changing him because yeah, I missed him a bit, but it was not any kind of epic “WHERE’S MAH BABY” kind of thing.
So, this is going to be a weekly thing for us. Oma has her playdate with the Whuffle so I can go out and do things (most likely swimming or yoga, though friend lunches and studio time are also top contenders for “me” activities), she can get some quality baby action, and the Young Man can get used to spending a few moments of his time without me. He’s such a mama’s boy and that’s ok for him to prefer me… but we were starting to get to a point where he was demanding me and I’m not cool with that becoming a THING if we can help it, especially since that’s not how he was when Nuno was working from home. I was very happy to hear that he was a perfect little dude chilling with his Oma. Fantastic!
This did catch up with him later, as I kind of feared. He didn’t sleep well last night and the excitement of an afternoon socializing… he was a wee on the fussy side this evening. Just enough so that I waited until Nuno got home to go grocery shopping to avoid the “baby falls asleep in car and then won’t sleep at night” drama.
And then. In the grocery store. THAT’S when I missed him so much it kind of hurt. I wasn’t in tears, or anywhere close, but my chest felt all tight buying his baby food without him smiling up at me from the Ergo. I had no wee downy head to smooch in the checkout line! What’s with THAT?!
I guess it’s the familiar things where I’ve just always taken him where it feels weird to be without him. I feel pretty lucky that we’ve structured our lives so that I can spend pretty much all of his babyhood with him, but I’m also feeling pretty happy that we’re both getting a little breathing room to have our own things going on. (Even if his “things” amount to “hanging in the stroller and chewing his shoes.”) It’s good for both of us to miss each other a little bit and really enjoy this time when we’re totally tuned in.
Seriously, a little time away just emphasizes to me how freaking much I do indeed love hanging out with my man. (Also emphasizes that oh hey, sometimes it’s WICKED FUN to go out without strapping someone into a car seat!)