Tags
Once again, I’m finding myself frustrated with the blogging world. I guess I really have to work harder to “be the blog I’d like to see” (yes, yes, I’m sure Gandhi just barfed in his grave on that paraphrasing) as there are so few bloggers I’ve found that I feel that I can relate to at all. I finally found some really awesome feminist bloggers who share my political views much more than a lot of the other mogglers* I read. So happy! And I’m following along and really enjoying it, until I realize something.
These “edgy” feminist bloggers? They’re mean.
I’m not going to name names, that’s not what this is about. I’m just talking about a general vibe that I’m getting. I’ve seen giant back and forths between feminists who agree on 99% of an issue just ripping each other to itty bitty shreds on the other 1%. I’ve seen really intelligent women who know their shit and have done their research on a number of health issues turn against the same sources they cite when it’s convenient for them and dismiss those who disagree as un-educated and will be just as willing to claim experts to be “controversial” on issues they don’t like as they are to cite the same experts for their pet causes. [Sorry to be ranty yet maddeningly vague. Again, I’m doing my very best not to point fingers and instead speak of general trends.]
The worst, for me, the one that just punches me in the gut and makes me sad to be a blogger is the sentiment I’ve seen echoed twice this week alone: “I’m not going to apologize for judging people. Everyone does it.” Twice. On two different blogs.
Am I judging by saying that I think that this is both mean and lazy? Maybe. I guess I know that in my heart of hearts, I find myself judging strangers now and then – but when I catch myself doing it, my impulse is not to shrug it off as “everyone does it” but rather to stop and think “Huh, there’s absolutely nothing to be gained from this line of thinking and I should stop.” And it really, really bums me out a lot to see bloggers who I respect giving themselves a free pass at judging others’ behavior just because “everyone does it.”
I can’t seem to find my niche in this weird virtual world. On the one side, there are some very sweet bloggers whose political views couldn’t be more different from my own – which makes me feel like I need to keep that side of me under wraps if we’re going to have any kind of productive conversations. On the other side, there are bloggers whose politics I admire who make me feel like if we disagree, they’re going to verbally disembowel me.
So, I guess the path for me then is to just forge the “Middle Way.” I’d like to be approachable and non-judgemental without selling out my über liberal political side. And maybe some day, I’ll find other bloggers on the same path and we can join hands and sing kumbaya. Or something.
* Mommy + Blogger = Moggler. If I can get this portmanteau into common internet slang… well… I’ll reward myself with an absurd number of donuts.
Whuffling. 
I know I’m not a moggler, and I’m not as open and accepting as I’d like to be, but I’m trying — and I’ll kumbaya with you any time!
(in other words, *big hugs*, dear. I know it sucks like hell to feel like you can’t find your niche, but from where I sit the middle path you’re forging is both true and beautiful.)
~ c.
Can we kumbaya and maybe sing something different? Like, I dunno… anything. It’s a good cliché, but man, the song kinda sucks.
xoxoxoxoxoxo.
It is hard to find your niche on the internet which is such a large beast but those kindred spirits are out there. I kept nodding my head as I read this post because we all do judge as we all do have a knee jerk reaction to slap someone that is pissing us off… what makes us higher is what we DO with that initial emotion. P.S. I love Gandhi and I love that you are going to be the blog that you would like to see.
Yeah, it especially makes me twitchy to see moms saying “oh, it’s ok to judge people” because you have that attitude and pretty soon your kiddo has that attitude and you can’t really correct it until you’ve corrected it in yourself. I’m far from perfect – especially when my opinion of people not using turn signals is concerned – but I really believe that to be a good example to The Whuff, I have to keep trying to let things go and be willing to admit that I’m wrong when my initial impression is inaccurate.